No really a quote but a darn funny story that has been doing the rounds on the Internet for years. I got it from this link (http://mistupid.com/jokes/msvgm.htm) but many other copies appear everywhere else.

Microsoft vs. General Motors At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon. In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

I personally came up with this one.

11. If you change all four tires, you have to re-register the car and get new number plates.

"Check please!" -Princess Bubblegum, Shelby the worm who lives in Jake's violin, and B-MO; ADVENTURE TIME WITH FINN AND JAKE.

On the creation of a tea made of two parts oasis leaf and one part Belle tart seeds:

Luke: "Well..."
Layton: "Well..."
Luke: "Um, Professor? I think I'm going to throw up."
-Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box; Tea Set minigame

"Hitler, you idiot! I said 'Pass the juice,' not 'Gas the Jews'! Go to your room and do the Dougie while Rickrolling!"

Tigger: [as Pooh and the others try to pull him out of the gorge] "Look at the biceps on that bear. We don't deserve to dangle from the same precipice."
[Eeyore mutters as he tries to hold on to a root with his teeth]Tigger: "What's Donkey Boy saying?"
Eeyore: [releasing the root] "I said, 'Ouch.'" [realizing he's released the root, he and the others fall into the gorge]-Tigger and Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

Owl: "He has gone to S-C-H-O-O-L!" [gasps] "Skull!"
Pooh: [in a funny voice] "Skull? What sort of place is that?"
Owl: On a scale of one to ten...it's not good.
-Owl and Pooh, Winnie the Pooh: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

"One for the money, two for the show, three because uh - uh, comes before four, and here we go!"
-Tigger, Winnie the Pooh: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

"That Owl. I knew Skull had another Y in it."
-Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

"One Kilometer equals one thousand lometers." -Me

ShadowSpark Wrote:"Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple-fold sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?" "I've got a sonic, er, never mind." "What?" "It's sonic, okay, let's leave it at that." "Disruptor? Cannon? What?" "It's sonic, totally sonic. I am sonicked *up*!" "A sonic *what*?" "*Screwdriver*!" -- The Doctor and Captain Jack Harkness, Doctor Who, Episode #10 "The Doctor Dances"

YES! Another Whovian who will understand my Doctor Who references!

"I speak baby."
"You don't speak baby."
"I speak everything."

~The Doctor and Amy Pond, When a Good Man Goes to War.

"Wagner’s music is better then it sounds".

(Mark Twain).

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff".

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Patient: "Doctor, I keep haveing these high-and-low sugar rushes".

Doctor: "Your Bi-Cola".

From Return to Zork:

A toast with Booz, as follows...

"Here's to us."
"Who's like us?"
"Damn few!"
"And they're ALL dead!"

(Haven't seen the whole thing, but I believe this quote also shows up in the movie Act of Valor)