i've gathered myself, and i'm going to tell you this joke. you might have heard it before. it is quite vulgar, with references to a certain sexual method [indirectly]. but it is my favourite ever. please don't penalize me, i'm just trying to entertain [the people aged 15+]
here it is:
two guys [let's call them carl and gary
] were out having a round of golf, when another guy came up and asked if he could join them
"yeah, sure." they said. they got chatting and carl asked the new man "so what do you do for a living?"
the man replied "well i'm actually a hitman."
"i don't believe you" said gary.
"it's true, look"
the man opened his golf bag, and inside was a sniper rifle
"woah!" said carl "can i look through the scope?"
"i don't see why not"
carl picked up the sniping iron and looker through the scope
"hey, i can see into my house. wait, there's my wife. hey, she's naked! w-wait, my neighbour is there as well! he's naked too!. now i'm mad!"
"how much do you charge per hit?" asked carl
"I charge £1000 every time i pull the trigger"
"i want 2 shots. one on my wife's mouth, for all her nagging, and one on my neighbour's penis, because i think he really is one."
the hitman set up his rifle, and spent almost 5 minutes aiming
"why are you taking so long?" said carl
the hitman replied "shh. shut up! i'm about to save you £1000!"