I don't fully know why I am posting this here, and allow me an advance apology for its horrendously off topic nature, but now that I have begun this post, I am unalterably compelled to end it.

A mixture of joy, fear, and sentimentality is giving me a sort of "hey I want to shout from rooftops" feeling combined with some weird need for closure in almost every aspect of my life. I guess that is why I'm here. This place is home to one of the most intelligent and kind online communities I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and, for a time, it was the base on an experience in which I was overjoyed to participate.

I felt guilty for leaving, as though it were my duty to remain here in repayment for the lucky opportunity I was granted - a concept purely of my own creation. Surely such a thought was generated by the fact that I truly wanted to stay here. I loved Tron 2.0; though I'm normally content to enjoy a game and move on, I felt a genuine to desire to commit to Tron 2.0. I wanted to learn the editor inside and out. I had some pretentious notion that I would create a library of levels and mods that would be a pillar of excellence in the Tron 2.0 community.

Of course, that didn't happen.

The desire was there, maybe even the ability, but, alas, education took presendence. Tron 2.0 was the last game I completed. Oh I dabbled in some Splinter Cell, I was even able to squeeze in a level or two of Far Cry, but two senior seminars and independent research assumed a most unyielding strangle hold on my life. Finally, though, I have loosened my opponent's grip, and like some victorious geek warrior I have emerged with spoils of battle.

Sunday, May 23 with the senior award of my department and with summa cum laude status, I will be awarded a Bachelor's degree in computer science.

Now is a good time and a frightening time. The future is tangible, but unplanned and uncertain; freedom can be a scary thing.

Whatever the future may hold, I sincerely hope it allows my reentry into a past time I quite enjoyed. Perhaps it will even allow me to realize, if only partially, the lofty ambitions I once had for the Tron 2.0 community.

For now though, I can only offer this selfish letter and a thanks to unseen friends and Dave that I have not reiterated enough.

So, on that note. . .anyone looking to hire a fresh comp sci grad?
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